Deborah Does Navel-Gazing » Mental Health Writing

A Tale of Two Afterschool Programs, Part 1

Deborah — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 16:54:37 +0000

When my son started elementary school a couple of years ago, I was delighted to find that there was day care on the school grounds. He was in morning kindergarten, so he went there after school at 11 AM. I wasn’t crazy about how small the day care room was, but I was told that they used the playscape outside extensively. The big draw was that Lawrence was right there on school grounds, and would be picked up at the door to his classroom.

In retrospect, I realize that we weren’t given any information about how discipline was handled, which I now know to be a red flag.

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What Do ADHD Summer Camps Offer?

Deborah — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 21:27:25 +0000

All parents feel a pang of worry or two when their child is about to be introduced to a new situation like summer camp. If you’re the parent of a child with ADHD, and you’re considering summer camp, you’re likely to feel something more akin to panic. Is she going to make friends? Will the adults in charge understand ADHD, or will he have a miserable experience and be labeled the “bad” kid?

Most of these concerns can be alleviated by choosing a camp that is specifically for children with ADHD (these camps in many cases are also geared towards children with learning development disabilities or similar issues, but for the sake of simplicity, I’ll refer to the ADHD aspect only). Not only will it be staffed with people who understand kids with ADHD, but these camps offer programs and activities specifically to help kids with ADHD develop skills and capabilities that will help them all year long.

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What You Need to Know About Suicide Contagion

Deborah — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 21:07:39 +0000

Suicide, the third leading cause of death among 15-24 year olds according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (the CDC), has been in the news several times in the last year due to suicide “clusters” at Cornell University and in California and Pennsylvania. A suicide cluster is defined by the CDC as “a group of suicides or suicide attempts, or both, that occur closer together in time and space than would normally be expected in a given community.” 1 “Suicide contagion” or “copycat” suicides is the behavior that leads to clusters of suicides. The idea that suicide clusters occur as a result of a contagious type of behavior has not been established through studies, but suggested by anecdotal evidence and statistical analysis. These seem to indicate that suicides occurring later in a cluster appear to have been influenced by suicides earlier in the cluster.

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ADHD and Relationships

Deborah — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:14:33 +0000

I used to drive my ex-husband crazy. Actually, I think what used to drive him crazy was my Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I’m not sure what else about me drove him crazy, but that was definitely an irritant.

I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years after my first marriage broke up, so at the time, although I was beginning to realize that I had a short attention span and could be hyperactive, I didn’t know why. My ex (who did not have ADHD) and I both had computers and would often be sitting side by side working or playing a game or whatever. But I had always had either laundry, tidying up and cleaning to do, so I usually didn’t stay in my chair very long. I’d jump up after fifteen or twenty minutes at the computer and put a load of laundry in. Then I’d sit down for another fifteen or twenty minutes, until I felt the need to get up and do some dishes or pick up the apartment. My ex-husband, during this time, would not have moved. One day he roared at me, “Can’t you just sit down for longer than five minutes?!” Well, yes, actually. I was sitting down longer than that, but to him it seemed like I was up and down like a jack-in-the-box.

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Simplify the Holidays to Preserve Your Sanity

Deborah — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 21:07:59 +0000

My parents do a beautiful job with decorating for Christmas – they always have. Every year they get a real live tree. They have a couple of hundred of beautiful ornaments, as well as garlands and other assorted decorations. The tree is always put up at least two weeks before Christmas. Granted, they’re retired, but it was always like this even when they both were working.

In contrast, my husband and I broke down a couple of years ago and got a fake tree (I love the smell of evergreens, but it’s not enough to counter the expense of a live tree and the cleanup). I feel virtuous if we get the tree up a week before Christmas, and it’s been done on Christmas Eve on more than one occasion. It took me a long time to let go of my parents’ standards and to stop feeling guilty if I didn’t live up to them.

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Organizing Your Holiday Season

Deborah — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:26:15 +0000

Is there a bigger challenge for someone with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder than the holidays? So many things to keep track of, so many things to accomplish – all of them with a deadline. After planning twenty-five or so holiday seasons, I’ve come up with some strategies, and also know where some of the potential pitfalls for someone with ADHD are at this time of the year.

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Calming Your Senses During the Holiday Season

Deborah — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:18:47 +0000

I worked in retail sales for over three years, all of them spent in stores in large shopping malls. The first store I worked in, Victoria’s Secret, was in a beautiful mall in Boston called Copley Place. Everything about the mall was soothing – the peach marble interior, the low lighting, the waterfall and the softly playing classical music. The stores were all high end, like the beautiful Brentano’s bookstore with its many art books. At Christmas time white lights decorated the mall tastefully. Something about the way the mall was built kept it from being too loud, and the foot traffic, while healthy, wasn’t overwhelming. I loved my job, and despite the long hours, I never felt tired.

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Managing Depression During the Holidays

Deborah — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:10:21 +0000

Right before I got diagnosed with depression, I suffered through the most horrible Christmas ever. On the surface, everything was fine. I spent Christmas Day with my family as usual and a couple of days later my best friend got married in a lovely ceremony and reception. But the moment I was out of sight on my way home from my parents’ house, I burst out crying and cried for hours. And I was only able to endure an hour of the wedding reception before escaping. Thankfully, by the next holiday season my depression was controlled by antidepressants and I truly enjoyed it.

The holidays put a lot of demands on everyone, but are exponentially more difficult for someone with depression.

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9 Tips for Beating Loneliness During the Holidays

Deborah — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:08:48 +0000

If you’re going to be alone during the holidays and you have clinical depression, you’re looking at a double whammy that could do a number on you before the end of the year. By Christmas Eve, your depression voice might be telling you that you’re a sad loser – unless you come up with some countermeasures. Keep these suggestions in mind:

If you’re alone because someone close to you has died, or because your marriage or relationship has ended, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.

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Controlling Impulse Spending

Deborah — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:45:36 +0000

About ten years ago, I went to a craft fair with my parents. My parents go to the type of craft fairs that have handwoven coats and custom made wood furniture. I fell in love with some custom-made leather boots. They created a mold for your feet and lower legs and made the boots from that. They cost $500 (I got the sterling silver buttons). They were definitely worth the price, but for me that was about half a month’s pay. I hyperventilated the whole way home and tried to figure out how I was going to break it to my husband.

We ADHD-ers can be somewhat impulsive. In many situations it’s an endearing and even desirable quality. When it comes to spending money, not so much. Around the holidays this is particularly difficult. After all, we’re prone to impulses and we have to shop. Plus, it’s often easier to justify buying something when it’s a gift. So at this time of year it’s “Danger, Will Robinson!” All those nice, shiny things beckoning to us. Before we know it we’re at the register and handing over our money. And even when we make a good purchase and can afford it, sometimes we still feel badly because we didn’t buy it after carefully considering the purchase, or at least counting to ten.

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